How To Annoy Someone With Psychology
I realised that among the many areas of study, psychology in its broad context is probably the most practical and thus most applicable knowledge one can study. Theres always a psychological terminology or theory to explain why we humans do what we do, both as an individual and also on a social setting. Through my own experience, I noticed that one's knowledge of psychology can also be used to annoy another person during a conversation in a matter of minutes. The idea is to bombard them with a plethora of psychological technical jargon within a short period of time. Success can usually result in either the other party walking away in disgust, staring at you blankly, or playing the 'whatever' card. Below I'll give you an example.
When someone you know buys an expensive car. During a ride in it, you complain how lousy it is.
You: "This car is like my vacuum. It Sucks!"
Friend: "No way, it does not!"
You: "Aha! You're experiencing 'cognitive dissonance', my friend."
Friend: "You're lying. Wait a minute... Huh??!!"
You: "Hmm... I noticed your ego just activated a defense mechanism which is known as 'Denial'."
Friend: (stares blankly)
You: "Why do you buy this brand in particular?"
Friend: "Because it's the in-thing man. It's also because I gotta drive a car that reflects my high earnings and social status."
You: "I see you're under the 'social normative influence' and apparently 'impression management' is of paramount importance to you."
Friend: "What the... (drives faster)"
You: "You look mad. Are you mad? Why are you mad? Ok, your ego just set off another defense mechanism called 'sublimation'. That explains your heavier footing on the pedal."
Friend: "Grrrrr..."
You: "Ok, you're really mad at me. Cognitive Therapy would explain that a certain event you experience leads to negative self-talk, which then leads to your emotions. As in your case, you're angry at something. What are you angry at?"
Friend: "I'm mad at you, Biatch!"
You: "A psychoanalyst would say that's a form of 'transference'". Hmm... *rubs chin* You were all normal few minutes ago and now you're a totally different person. Thats two different and distinct personalities. I think you're experiencing 'multiple-personality disorder' man! You should go for a checkup. Like... Seriously. You might also have damaged your temporal lobe or something, 'coz I think you're hallucinating. You think you're actually rich but I doubt you are. You're out of touch with reality man. I think you're a psychotic. You're sick man. Sick I tell ya!"
Friend: "ARRGGHHH!!!!! Get out of my car!!"
MWAHAHA... See, it's quite simple really. Always target someone who has no knowledge whatsoever in the subject. Remember, knowledge ispower annoying. Class dismissed.
When someone you know buys an expensive car. During a ride in it, you complain how lousy it is.
You: "This car is like my vacuum. It Sucks!"
Friend: "No way, it does not!"
You: "Aha! You're experiencing 'cognitive dissonance', my friend."
Friend: "You're lying. Wait a minute... Huh??!!"
You: "Hmm... I noticed your ego just activated a defense mechanism which is known as 'Denial'."
Friend: (stares blankly)
You: "Why do you buy this brand in particular?"
Friend: "Because it's the in-thing man. It's also because I gotta drive a car that reflects my high earnings and social status."
You: "I see you're under the 'social normative influence' and apparently 'impression management' is of paramount importance to you."
Friend: "What the... (drives faster)"
You: "You look mad. Are you mad? Why are you mad? Ok, your ego just set off another defense mechanism called 'sublimation'. That explains your heavier footing on the pedal."
Friend: "Grrrrr..."
You: "Ok, you're really mad at me. Cognitive Therapy would explain that a certain event you experience leads to negative self-talk, which then leads to your emotions. As in your case, you're angry at something. What are you angry at?"
Friend: "I'm mad at you, Biatch!"
You: "A psychoanalyst would say that's a form of 'transference'". Hmm... *rubs chin* You were all normal few minutes ago and now you're a totally different person. Thats two different and distinct personalities. I think you're experiencing 'multiple-personality disorder' man! You should go for a checkup. Like... Seriously. You might also have damaged your temporal lobe or something, 'coz I think you're hallucinating. You think you're actually rich but I doubt you are. You're out of touch with reality man. I think you're a psychotic. You're sick man. Sick I tell ya!"
Friend: "ARRGGHHH!!!!! Get out of my car!!"
MWAHAHA... See, it's quite simple really. Always target someone who has no knowledge whatsoever in the subject. Remember, knowledge is
...Quoth Zaid, nevermore.
No comment